Hell's Kitchen Thoughts

Ok, since everyone always asks me the same Hell's Kitchen questions, and as more time passes I become more and more forgetful of the events that transpired on the show (ok, ok, I BLOCKED THEM OUT, alright?), I figured I'd jot down a few thoughts about my overall experience of the show.

First, let me just restate that, due to contractual obligations and the threat of being sued, there are certain things I'll never be able to talk about.  I know, don't hate, but unfortunately, I don't want Gordon coming after my 1996 Toyota Corolla because that's all I'd have to give if I were ever sued.  Sad.  Yes.  I know. 

So down to the nitty-gritty (I love that phrase.  In fact I love anything that rhymes like that.  I like words.)...

What was Gordon Ramsay like?

Wow, I'm actually giving myself my own interview.  This is kinda neat!  Well, Chef Ramsay is pretty much what you see on the show.  Or, at least that's how he was whenever he was around us.  We were hardly ever "off camera", as people always ask, so I never really got to just hang out with the guy.  He has a reputation which led to this show even being created.  He's firey and mean and down right scary.  But he really is a force to be reckoned with in the kitchen and knows more about food and its' specific origins than anyone else I know.  I learned a lot from him. 

I don't agree with his method of breaking people down and building them back up again.  I don't believe in ruling by fear.  But, I guess it did work, at least for me.  The man got me cooking like I've never cooked before.  He had his moments of being absolutely lovely.  The show was hard on me.  I cried like everyday, more than they even showed on camera.  I flipped out, in fact, and was sent to his office for a chat.  I thought I'd get ripped a new one but he actually told me about some of his worst mistakes in the kitchen when he had just started out cooking. And how you can't take it personally when someone yells at you.  I've taken his advice and applied it to my own business. 

Cooking was not his first career path, it was football.  I don't know if any of you know that.  He played for Scotland and messed up his knee, and had to find another career choice.  I often wonder if he would ever go back to playing soccer if he had had the choice.  It's funny how life works out. 

Did I cheat during the taste test?

I've been asked this sooooo many times.  Believe whatever you want, but my answer is NO, I did not cheat.  The people who know me best know I'm not that cunning.  I'm really kinda dumb when it comes to being crafty.  The funny thing was, I could just hear mumbling, not actual words - but everything in Hell's Kitchen is kind of a mind fuck.  So you never really know who is trying to set who up for what.  I figured I would save my ass a little and fess up to being able to hear mumbling just in case it was a trap.  Funny how paranoia can set in! 

The taste test was one of my proudest moments, even if it is only shared by me, myself and I.  I never realized that my curiosity for tasting everything would become such an asset.  I mean, I've eaten playdough and dog food before.  I've even eaten raw chicken just because I was curious how it would taste (let the record state I have never had salmonella poisoning in my life, btw).  Even now I still taste things in their raw states, just so I know.  I sometimes play the game that "Gordon Ramsay could walk in my kitchen any minute - could I identify this blindfolded?"  Yeah - you try cooking alone in a kitchen all day. See what it does to YOU!

How often did we shoot new episodes?

Basically, every 2 days of Hell's Kitchen was an episode.  In the beginning, we'd have a service day and a challenge day.  They really did wake us up at crazy hours, and we really did stay up until 3 am some nights.  It was AWFUL.  I was so tired.  I've watched old episodes and it's funny to see how progressively we all started looking bloated and puffy.  No one slept, and we were living on, like, hard boiled eggs and hot dogs.  I remember making a whole bunch of wellingtons one night and we had a few left over, so I put them all together and planned to take them upstairs (oh yeah, did I mention we lived above the restaurant?  Fun.) to heat up for everyone, and they magically disappeared.  A producer told me he couldn't resist, they were just too good.  Thanks guys.  So, Rock and I were on the show for about a month.  Fast, right?

Overall thoughts...

My time on Hell's Kitchen was both amazing and horrendous.  I have never been so physically and emotionally challenged before.  We weren't allowed to have contact with ANYONE outside Hell's Kitchen.  No parents, no friends, no boys - no one.  It was like being in jail.  We had one phone in our living space, and if you picked it up it would directly dial the production office.  We had no idea as to what was going on in the world. 

Coming back to reality was really difficult.  In a weird way, I feel like I have the slightest idea what it must be like to go fight in a war and come back.  Obviously, totally on a small scale - but we all came home and were forced to not say a word about what happened, who won, where I placed, nothing.  We couldn't even talk to the other contestants.  It was really lonely.  And then I came home to dealing with real life issues - my rent check was returned because they didn't accept post dated checks - so I came home to an eviction notice!  My phone bill was $500 for some mysterious reason, even though it had been shut off for a month.  I kind of wanted to get back to the show and only focus on competing. 

Then the show aired and I started seeing how things were edited together.  Wow.  Like getting crap for being in my underwear.  Ok, firstly, I was wearing boyshorts and a tank top.  Joanna had just walked out in full on bra and underwear but I was the one who was targeted.  Secondly, I had been sleeping, which was why I was wearing that outfit, and had to go to the bathroom, which was conviniently located on the other side of the living space.  Thirdly, I believe I picked a wedgie on camera so for those who thought I was trying to seduce the male contestants - ummmm...in which universe do you live where picking a wedgie is SEXY?  Finally, we all had a "no hookup clause" in our contracts.  In fact, if anyone was seen kissing they would be kicked off the show.  Plus, everyone was in some sort of relationship, so there really wasn't that kind of energy.  It was like this big aesexual gathering.  So I felt pretty damn comfortable heading to the bathroom in what I wore to bed that night.  Get.  Over. It.

I never realized I'd be one of the people most hated on the show.  I'm pretty likeable.  Somewhat annoying, but not too bad.  I would read the message boards (which we were asked not to do and now I see why) and would sit there open mouthed reading that several people thought I was a slut, and dumb, and someone even said he wanted to punch me in the face!  Which is actually kinda funny looking back on it now.   But back then, it hurt.  I was really depressed.  I didn't think anyone took me seriously.

Thank GOD I made it as far as I did - I feel like by coming in 2nd I was able to redeem myself. 

Thoughts on the cast...

Jen and Rock were definitely my closest friends on the show.  Jen and I really have a special friendship.  Rock has been such an amazing friend to me since the show.  He's given me great advice and we make each other laugh like crazy.

I loved Brad and Josh as well.  I was super bummed when both of them got the boot.  Especially Brad, because I felt like he was better than me.  I got along with all the guys really well. We had a lot of fun.

Melissa was one of the best cooks on the show.  I really admired her.  I'm still not sure what happened to her around the time she got booted.  It was as if she woke up a different person one day.  Hell's Kitchen does weird stuff to everyone.

Aaron.  Oh Aaron.  I remember the first time he started crying.  I was trying not to laugh, but it was really hard.  It literally came from nowhere.  I still watch the episode where he swears and then he says "oooh I said a curse word" and started craying.  I'm laughing right now as I type this.  HA. 

I don't think Tiffany was given a fair shot. She had trained in France - spoke to Chef Ramsay in French.  I feel like she was a scapegoat. 

Joanna and I butted heads a lot but I liked her.  She just had a lot to say a lot of the time.  It's hard when you're living on top of like 12 strangers, all with strong personalities.  Tempers are bound to flare.

Same with Julia.  I like Julia a lot.  I still stand by the fact that she had (at the time of the show) a lot more to learn.  She was really sloppy and didn't know a lot of the ingredients.  But she is definitely a great chef.  I remember one night she and I fell asleep before everyone else and I had one of those episodes where I woke up thinking I had overslept, because I heard people in the livingroom.  I dragged that poor girl out of bed and into the livingroom saying "Julia!  We missed something!"  Only to realize it was about midnight...

I was sad Eddie didn't get to stick around.  He has such tenacity and is such a hard worker.  I really had no idea he set me up to get those cookies down for him so he could look at my ass.  Nice job.  I never saw it coming. 

Vinnie still thinks I cheated on the stupid taste test.  The guy has a snake named Marilyn.  That's all I'm saying about him.

Ok.  I think I've spilled my guts now.  If you think of another question, post it in the comments and I will answer it.

Kisses and hugs.

Comments

[DO]

I knew you didn't cheat on the tasting challenge. You totally redeemed yourself with that one.

[Lars]

So I just watched this show and just had to say I totally don't get the hate for you at all, you seemed like such a sweet and nice person. And the internets make people say stupid shit. Good luck in the future :)

[Friend]

You were really cool and nice. Don't worry about people hating you, they are just jealous of your good looks. Most of us know you're a sweet & very nice girl :).

What are you upto these days? Are you still cooking?

[Tom]

I thought you had incredible style, grace, and poise. Very inspirational.

[Olivier]

Hi Bonnie,

Actually, I have two questions concerning with Hell's Kitchen and I hope you have not blocked out the answers. ;-)

But first of all, I'd like to say that I was a little surprised when you included Brad amongst your friends because he clearly accused you of cheating on the blind test (which I am sure you did not) and he clearly stated "I want Rock to win" during the Final... O_o You're very forgiving, sweetie! I know I wouldn't. I hate double-faced people. And secondly, I am also surprised when you say you were one of the most hated on the show because you're quite loveable. There is nothing mean or vicious about you, something the others definitely cannot say. The guy who said he wanted to physically harm you is obviously a wacko.

Anyway... here are my questions:

1) When did you guys go to the Diary Room? You always seem to be making comments about stuff that is happening whilst you are actually there. Obviously, it is impossible so it is only logical to think that it must have taken place after it happened. Did they ask you to "pretend" you were making live comments? I hope this is not part of your non-disclosure agreement because that's actually one part of the show I am very curious about.

2) What made you decide to send your application for a reality tv show? Did you actually think you could win it or was it just for the fun of it?

[Bonnie]

Hi Olivier! Oh you ask some good questions! Unfortunately we can't discuss what happens "behind the scenes" as such. I'm so sorry!

Brad is lovely and I have no hard feelings towards him. Everyone is in competition mode during the show, and it can't really be taken to seriously.

I heard about the HK 3 auditions through culinary school. I just thought I'd audition for fun, just to see how far I'd get. I never EVER thought I'd actually make it on the show. Once I did there was just no time to reconsider!

Thanks for your questions. I wish I could answer all of them fully :)